Close Encounters with the Heber Creeper

I know that I have not yet posted for nearly a month and when I get back to my homestead I will post all of the happenings of the last several weeks. But the events of yesterday caused me to pause and be grateful for my life, among other things.

My daughter, Gabi, my good friend, Bryan, and I went tubing down the Provo River.


It was Gabi's first time tubing and she scared most of the fish with her scream as she creeped in and then was pushed into the rather cool water. Luckily the weather was very warm and especially conducive to a wonderful float down a cold river. We were all tethered together (Good thinking Bryan!) which kept us from losing anyone down the river and also helped to facilitate some quick saves from bank brush and large rocks. However, we found that keeping us all tied together was difficult when we had to go under subdivided bridges. On our first attempt of such Bryan was creamed against the wall of the subdivision and incurred a substantial contusion on his back and arm.

With the exception of said contusion, we had enjoyed much of the river. There was a larger bridge coming up and Bryan, in his infinite wisdom (he had floated the river before), decided it would be best to get out of the river walk, bypassing the bridge, and then climb back in to continue the float. Sounded like a good idea to me.

While we were walking past Bryan wanted to show us why he had made that decision. We parked the innertubes, partially on the track, and began walking down the tressel so he could illustrate why we were walking. We were about a third of the way to the middle of the tressel when Gabi and I heard a train whistle. Gabi claims to have said something like, "Isn't that a train? And shouldn't we leave?" But I didn't hear it. I did have the thought, "I wonder how close that train is?" Bryan, completely involved in his story, did not hear the alleged comment nor the whistle.

A few moments later, I heard the whistle again and this was what I saw:



THE HEBER VALLEY RAILROAD DIESEL ENGINE NUMBER 1813 WAS HEADED STRAIGHT FOR US!!!!

We all took off running down the tressel toward safety. Bryan was shoeless, Gabi was in flip-flops, and I was swearing. As we continued to run, both Bryan and I admit to having thoughts of jumping of the bridge in the shallow, swiftly moving water below. I looked back and saw that the train was stopping. It wasn't until we were off the tracks in the bushes that we saw that the train had stopped and the conductor was hanging out the window ahollerin'. I thought this was a good time to go and clear our tubes from the track and so I did so with Bryan and Gabi close behind.

I thought that the train would just keep on going, but nay. The train actually pulled up so that the locomotive was right by where we were standing and stopped. This was the train that pulled up next to us, not intending to order a Big Mac and Filet-o-Fish, but to order up three shagrinned tubers.



The conductor then got off his train to talk with us. The encounter went something like this:

Conductor: By now, I think you all know how stupid that was!

Bryan: Yeah, we know.

Gabi: (silent....mainly trying to not laugh)

Malia: Yes, Sir.

Conductor: These locomotives don't stop on a dime! They weigh 90 tons and they can do some serious damage.

Bryan: (respectfully trying to converse with the conductor, hoping we don't get a ticket)

Gabi: (still silent, happy to be alive)

Malia: (converting tons into pounds and thinking about some basics of Physics, including momentum)

Conductor: Hopefully, you've learned your lesson!

Malia & Bryan: Yes, sir. Absolutely, sir. Won't do it again!

Gabi: (still...silent)

Conductor: You owe me a new hat and pair of gloves. I lost them when I pulled the emergency brake. (walks away in a huff, back up on the train)

The train, finally 20 minutes later, pulls slowly away. This is a pic of the conductor, with that gloves and hat that he lost while saving our lives.


I don't think I was ever really scared for my life, but I did have vivid images of "Stand By Me" flashing through my mind knowing full well that one of those boys did not make it off the tressel alive. And now we know some really interesting facts about locomotives, like the fact that they weigh 180,000 pounds! If F=ma, then that is a lot of force coming toward you when you are trying to outrun a train, even the Heber Creeper.

In retrospect, it probably would have been safer to stay in the river and try to float under the bridge.

Well, there's always more to the story and if you want to hear the rest, including the part where Bryan had to hitchhike back to the car, do call.